Hi, my name is Kerry, and between the time I applied for the Money Fix and now, my entire life has changed. My marriage is ending, my husband is leaving Alaska (where we’ve been living) to move to his new Army post in Texas, with our two daughters.

It wasn’t my first choice, but I didn’t know what else to do. He has his orders, and he wants to take the girls with him. And I don’t want to move—I’m on the brink of a new career—and I can’t afford to fight him.

The one thing that hasn’t changed: I still have to grapple with my spending. And it’s even more important now that I’m on my own, and starting over with a whole budget (still in progress!) and a new set of expenses.

My husband and I had many problems over the years, and money was one that drove us apart. Case in point: He can retire from the military soon, even though he’s only in his 40s. But then he plans to stay retired. When he told me that, I was speechless. I feel like my life is just starting.

I’m going back to school for a Masters in Public Administration (I work at the college, so the tuition is free). And I don’t want to give up everything I’ve worked so hard for.

My Money Fix expert, Michelle Singletary, disagrees. Most of her advice has been incredibly helpful—e.g. setting up an emergency fund with $17,000 my parents gave me, putting $2,000 of that into a “life happens fund”, and paying off $1,500 in debt. But she feels the best financial and emotional investment for me, right now, would be to move to Texas.

I just can’t. All my life I've displaced myself for everyone else, I've given up jobs, careers, but I've always been there for my kids. In nine years I've only been separated from them for 11 days total—that’s it. In military families, it’s not unusual for parents to be deployed far from their kids. So as hard as this decision is, to not be with my girls, it’s something I feel I have to do, and in the end it will be worth it.

Now I have to get used to living on about $33,000—and given my car payment and the cost of gas, plus rent, it’s pretty tight already. Plus, when you start over, there’s a lot to buy—plates, silverware, sheets—things you took for granted.

One of my other challenges is the $31,000 I have in student loans from my first Masters degree (an MBA in marketing). The loans are in deferment, but Michelle pointed out that they are still accruing interest—and by not paying anything, my balance is actually growing and I could end up with a lot more debt than I have now.

She recommends that I take the loans out of deferment so I can start repaying them now, by using money from my part-time job (I do some bartending on the side).

I was able to make a small student loan payment this month, but I’m not sure I can handle ending the deferment and making a regular loan payment every month. But let’s see how things go.

I am working hard to make changes in the way I spend. I know I have not been as diligent with my money as I could be. But I have been sticking to a budget. I have been trying to make sure I have food in the house to eat instead of going out, not making all the impulse buys that I have made in the past, and I have been trying to spend cash only and when it is gone—it’s gone.

Right now, I’m living in my little rental cabin and the kids are living in our old house with their dad until they leave in September. The kids still seem to be coping well, and I make sure I try and go see them every day I can while they are still here.

Yes it can be hard and emotionally draining at times, but I still feel that I would rather live apart than be in a place where I am depressed and unhappy. I remind myself that all roller coasters have an end, eventually you have to get off and walk on the pavement again.

Talk to her. How can Kerry adjust her spending as a single mom in a complicated situation? Please be gentle in your feedback, and consider all sides.